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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Comments from my Living With ADHD hub on HubPages

I wrote an article several years ago on HubPages, and I get at least one or two comments a day on it from parents searching for answers, suggestions and support. I have decided to post a few of the comments here, to give them more exposure, and to help other parents who might read a bit of their own story in the words.

Meet, Kristin, a mother of a seven year old boy with ADHD, sensory issues, Anxiety and possibly ODD. These are her words:

Thank you so much for writing all of this, it is so nice to hear that we are not alone. I have a 7 year old, who 1 year ago was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, possible ODD, and sensory issues. LIfe with him can be so amazing, and then snap, it goes the other way so quickly. We sat on a wait list for Mental Health for 1 year and have now been going since March. It has been great, but in the same breath his behaviour when we are there is usually not too good, so it is hard for all of us to get anywhere when we are there.
It all started when he was about 2 years old, and after raising one 2 year old already ( he is now 9 and a awesome mellow, laid back boy), I knew that something wan't quite right. He was very hands one, acting out, could never sit still, the whole nine yards. Once he started school (kindergarten), it got worse, he struggled socially, has no idea how to make friends, keep friends etc., was finally designated with H designation which is a behaviour designation through the school, which did get hid a EA in the classroom. He couldn't concentrate on school, had to sit on certain chairs, couldn't fininsh school work, mouthed people off and swears like a trucker! That summer once school was finished we (my husband and I), went to our family doctor and finally got our family doctor to give the ADHD diagnosis and put him on meds (biphentin). We struggled with the Biphentin, it didn't work, kept upping it and then did a top up at 3pm of ritalin, nothing lasted very long for him. He started grade 1 and was doing a bit better, still had his EA, went to reading recovery, had alot of support in the classroom, but still was getting in trouble. Got calls from the principals office on more than a few occasions, he got sent home from throwing rocks at all the cars that were driving past the school. Then towards the end of grade one we finally got in Mental Heath, they changed his meds to conerta, kept having to up it as it would only last till about 2pm, he is now on 54mg of concerta, and is lasting most of the day.
We are still struggling though, he can very abusive, more to me and his brother, than dad (who was in denial for the longest time, but has now come around). He has hit me, punched me, pushed me down the stairs, I have gone to our appts. at mental health with bruises. He also calls us all the names in the book, and heaven for bid we wanted to go out and do anything as a family, because it always gets destroyed by his behaviour.
So far in grade 2, he has been holding it together while at school, until last week when all wheels kind of fell of. He refused to take his meds in the am, warned the teacher and told them to call us if needed. Of course, we got that call, he was being sent home for threatening kids in the class with scissors- wanting to cut their hair, tried pulling down someones pant etc., the school wanted to call family services because of all of this, but didn't once they were properly informed about Connor and his actions on a regular basis. He got everything taken away form him, all his electronics etc., and he didn't care, we could take everything away and leave him with a pillow and blanket and he wouldn't care on bit, it so frustrating.
We have been judged by parents by other parents at the school, his older brother doesn't want to have anything to do with him most of time, and even one set of grandparents until recently thought that we just needed to parent him differently and be more strict!
I feel as a parent that I am always walking on egg shells, waiting for the next one to crack, because I know that it will sooner than later! My husband works night shifts 2 nights out of 6, and that can be really stressful with me, as Connor will push every button on me, refuse to do everything for me, it is his way or the highway. He never falls asleep before 10/10:30 at night, have tried melatonin, and it doesn't do anything for him!
I keep thinking that it sucks, and why did I get a child like this, but then I look in his eyes and my heart just melts, because I think if I am feeling this way, what goes on in his little head, as he always down on himself (lacks self esteem).
Everyday is a challenge, I never know what we are going to wake up to, the prince I know he can be or the devil that comes out so quick!
It is so nice to read everyone's posts and to know that we are not alone!
Thank you all, especially you Enelle for sharing your stories!

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